today's probably the most miserable day that can ever happen to me.. so much for saying that you love me.. today i finally gave up on this thing i called "LOVE"...
no matter how bad the quarrel gets, when did i ever not soften up?
no matter how long it takes, when did i not give in partially?
but today... you made up the decision for us when you turned and left... leaving me all alone... it isnt that i dont want to understand.. neither is it that i dont want to give in... but all you could think of, was your own point of view... it wasnt the first time that we had to play this horrid game of waiting.. i have given you nearly 5 years of my prime and would have given more, so what is a few hours compared to that....?
i couldnt care less if it werent for your grandma's condition... did you know how much it pained me when you told me what she was going through? ever since i was young, i have always wanted my grandfather to watch me go through my wedding BUT i will never ever have that chance... all i can hope for now, at the very least, was for your grandmothers and mine to have that very chance to be happy for us.. but i guess, it all shattered at your incompetence..
all that you can say, is that i keep pressing and pushing and insisting... have you ever thought of why did i ever want to do that? all that i have ever wanted, was just a DEFINITE time.. i am not someone who will tell you what i want, what i am thinking... when i do that, i am broken down, completely...
even as i close this chapter behind me, i cant control my thoughts.. its still all about you.. how life would be with you, 20 years on... but i guess, i will never get to experience that anymore..
1695 days... all gone down the drain... tonight i will let my tears flow free, but tomorrow, i will stand tall once again.. for i do not wish to go through what i have gone through.. the endless waiting.. the empty promises.. the love that was lost when you left me back there...
when you broke me utterly, completely and thoroughly...
no matter how bad the quarrel gets, when did i ever not soften up?
no matter how long it takes, when did i not give in partially?
but today... you made up the decision for us when you turned and left... leaving me all alone... it isnt that i dont want to understand.. neither is it that i dont want to give in... but all you could think of, was your own point of view... it wasnt the first time that we had to play this horrid game of waiting.. i have given you nearly 5 years of my prime and would have given more, so what is a few hours compared to that....?
i couldnt care less if it werent for your grandma's condition... did you know how much it pained me when you told me what she was going through? ever since i was young, i have always wanted my grandfather to watch me go through my wedding BUT i will never ever have that chance... all i can hope for now, at the very least, was for your grandmothers and mine to have that very chance to be happy for us.. but i guess, it all shattered at your incompetence..
all that you can say, is that i keep pressing and pushing and insisting... have you ever thought of why did i ever want to do that? all that i have ever wanted, was just a DEFINITE time.. i am not someone who will tell you what i want, what i am thinking... when i do that, i am broken down, completely...
even as i close this chapter behind me, i cant control my thoughts.. its still all about you.. how life would be with you, 20 years on... but i guess, i will never get to experience that anymore..
1695 days... all gone down the drain... tonight i will let my tears flow free, but tomorrow, i will stand tall once again.. for i do not wish to go through what i have gone through.. the endless waiting.. the empty promises.. the love that was lost when you left me back there...
when you broke me utterly, completely and thoroughly...
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